On December 13th, we welcomed our second daughter into the world. And three weeks later, I picked up my knitting needles again :) I have made minimal progress on a Debbie Bliss designed seed-stith bordered cardigan for little Adeline. And I aim to complete it!
In the meantime, let me digress a bit.
Women freely speak of the pains of labor & delivery, and of birth plans and such, but why do we hesitate to speak of anything post-labor beyond the number of hours we spent in it? I'm not saying we should divulge all the gory details, but I don't know.... for me giving birth has been both traumatic & rewarding in ways that have impacted me deeply. Changed me even. Maybe it's just me? There are days I really wish I was more pragmatic about life, but God has given me a soft heart that feels....ALOT. And in the days and weeks following my second daughter's birth, I have been dying to share and connect with other women regarding their own birth experiences and reflections thereof. Again--I'm not necessarily talking about the traditional convos. that simply involve discussion of pain remedies, length of pushing, etc. I'm talking about the heart---how the thing a foot (two, in my case!)above the uterus was impacted by the event.
I haven't found much of an outlet, and when I have opened up a bit with some women (bless their hearts...), I get a look as though I have 3 eyes, and crickets chirp in the background. Yes, even in the dead of winter crickets will chirp when there is an awkward silence! I sense it's because it is either unfamiliar territory to engage in such convo. and/or I am viewed as making too much of it (which is probably partly true!).
As women, we are given the gift and curse (the pain part is the curse!) of bringing forth little human beings from our very wombs. I find this extremely puzzling & profound...
And I long to engage in a dialogue regarding the topic!
For now, I am thankful for this blog which allows me to air my thoughts without having to witness any awkwardness it may evoke in the reader ;)
Perhaps you are willing to join in the conversation?? Or can direct me to a book or another outlet where I can receive what others have to say regarding the personal impact of their birth experiences?
More to come....
We should get together. I would love to chat with you and I promise not to look at you funny. :) Besides I need to see that little Adeline!
ReplyDeleteOh, we should!! Let's make a date :) I hope you are doing well, Joy!
DeleteWhen you were upstairs feeding Adeline during our visit I was DYING to get up there and hear your birth story! I also have been longing to hear/share stories because my labor and deliver were the exact opposite of anything I could have expected. A lot of it scared me, made me feel bad, or guilty. There's things about it I'm still angry about, as well as proud of, but mostly, I felt like "dead man walking" when the whole thing started but for some reason I was 'spared' and tossed out of a moving van Into a shark tank... To say the least. Hahaa. Let's beat this dead horse until you feel better about it and I will stop using metaphors! HA!
ReplyDeleteOh, Lauren! We should have just sat together to feed the girls so we could chat more ;). And I adore your usage of imagery--it paints a very vivid picture ;). I actually had my six week check-up today and nearly cried as my midwife expressed how Adeline's birth was one of her favorites! I shared with her how I had felt shame and defeat afterwards and she encouraged me that I did an incredible job. I know some of that was said to me right after Adeline was born, but I couldnt receive it. Today was the day I could receive it and it nourished my soul.... I knew she wasnt just giving me lip service and she went on to share how meaningful Adeline's birth was to her because of how it related to a personal situation in her family. I was so humbled and grateful to receive such a word today.... We will have to chat more, just you & me! Thank you for your feedback and for your own softness of heart!
ReplyDeleteHi Lori! This be your 'Sis! Just want to say I totally understand what you mean about the labor & delivery process being so much more than hours of pushing, etc! If you ever find the time to phone me, we'll have plenty to talk about! (Which may be why you haven't found that time frame to call! Ha! Ha! How do moms find time for anything besides changing diapers, cooking, cleaning and squeezing in a hot bubble bath now and again, anyway?) I miss you so much. We all think of you every day! Hope you, Adeline & Lily and Alex are doing well. Most of all, I love you immensely!
ReplyDeleteHi there Lori! It's me again! Since I don't have an e-mail account, and since I have time to kill right now, I thought to send you a few lines this way. Hope you find them soon! We are helping our friends move today, a little. Jeff is currently on the way there since our truck isn't running as good and we are incredibly tight on gas money with our beast of a gas hog- a Suburban! So I am at the library with a few kids and going to run an errand or two after this and then meet up at our friends' house after a few hours to help. Long story. Incidentally, our friend is currently pregnant, expecting a baby anytime now! How stressful to be trying to move into a small cabin in the middle of nowhere with a three year old and a baby due anyday now. Not to mention the fact that their bathroom is totally ripped apart as they are wanting to install a new bathtub, etc. I'm wondering how the birth will go. It is going to be emotional, needless to say! Hopefully the house will be ready for them to move in once that time comes! So the question I have for you is this: Remember when you & Alex helped us move from Griffith to DeMotte and I was totally emotional and ended up running errands that day you guys were helping us? Did that sort of tick you off when I was suddenly not going to be there while you were going to be busting your butt helping us? Because if it did, I just want to tell you how incredibly sorry I am! Today is the day of reckoning for me in that my feet are now stepping where your shoes once were on that level! Uggggghhh! Communication is so important! And time is of the essence when you're moving! Oh well. Please pray for our pregnant friend, if you don't mind. I hope she gets through this a stronger person and without any more unexpected hitches!
DeleteHope you, Alex, Lily & Adeline are doing well. And I'm anxious to read the updated blog site!
Well, I should get going here. Call when you get a chance! Love you Sis'!
Hi Lori ~ I love reading your thoughts...(you are an amazing writer)...I'm old and past having babies, but I find your recent entry touching. Being a mom is the most beautiful and wonderful thing and being pregnant and giving birth is all part of that! To be moved by it shows your amazing love for your child! Don't ever be ashamed or embarrassed to talk about it or express your thoughts on it! I pity the person's who can't embrace it with you! They are missing a wonderful opportunity. Something I wish I had done was to journal through it all...it would be an amazing gift for your child someday. Love ya...and all your pictures, and we might take you up on that offer to visit sometime! :-)
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